Awkward Scenario: Episode 1

This blog will deal with an awkward scenario I encountered a week ago. I debated about whether or not to blog about this, but I was given the OK by a certain middle party.
I was in Dallas over June 6th - 8th, visiting friends and family. This particular event happened Saturday night.
Shannon, the girlfriend, and I went out to a bar called Cape Buffalo. There we met her parents to celebrate their mutual friend, Jennifer's, birthday.
To begin with, I asked Shannon all day, What time does it start?"
She kept shrugging off the question, saying "We'll get there when we get there."
We settle down to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. About an hour into the flick, we get a call from Shannon's mother Cathee asking where we were.
The party started at 8PM and it was currently, 9:45PM. Shannon's parents had already been there for over an hour. The birthday girl was turning 30, so I guess she decided her friends couldn't stay out as late and started the party 8PM instead of 11PMish.
We rush to the bar where everyone has already been drinking. Jennifer is trashed and spouts profanity at me, a person she just met.

I couldn't tell if she was an angry drunk or just plain drunk. I talked with one man who works for Texas schools. He travels from district to district checking up on them. He was really boring.
I talked to Greg, Shannon's step-father, about Horse Racing, because Big Brown just had a disappointing loss.
To be honest, I don't know a thing about horse racing. Here's what I do know:
Horses race each other around a track. The small people that ride them around this track are called Jockies. They wear brightly colored outfits so people can tell them apart from all the other little people. Spectators bet money on this sport. One of the horses is named Big Brown.
That is the extent of my horse racing knowledge, but Greg had a few drinks before I got there and I was able to fool him about what I did not know.
From there Shannon's parents, Shannon and I all drove to a place where everyone knows their name, The Apple...

It's a small dive tucked away in between a restaurant and a gas station.
Now all this is leading up to the awkward scenario.
After a few drinks at the Apple, Greg settles into his chair with an unknown liquored drink. He leans forward staring at me from across the table and in his low guttural voice asked a question that completely blindsided me, "When are you going to make an honest woman out of my daughter?"
Considering Shannon is not caring child nor will she, unless we decide to make that life long commitment called marriage, this question came as quite a shock.
He continued, "You two have been dating almost seven months, don't you think it's about time you settle down?"
Now, seven month to me, is almost like a grace period. I get to know you, you get to know me. That is nowhere near my safe zone, of the "marriage talk." For me that's a minimum of two years.
"When we are both ready," was my reply.
"Because I have eight shotguns." He said taking a swig of his drink.


How on earth do you respond to that? Is he serious? Or is this his attempt at a joke? So, I responded with the only words that came to mind, "I have nine bulletproof vests."

This made him smile and the two ladies laugh nervously. The whole time, they are looking as red as the fruit in the bar's title.

He pressed again and this time I decided to answer truthfully.
"We both have goals we would like to accomplish before settling down. The final decision will be mine and Shannon's. Neither of us are ready just yet. When and if we are, we will go from there, but ultimately the decision should be hers and mine. There is no reason to rush into anything."
About that time, Cathee decided that was enough probing of their daughter's boyfriend. Luckily my name was called for karaoke a short time later, and I was able to escape from such an awkward scenario. Honestly, I didn't know how to respond, so I flew by the seat of my pants. Wrong or right, can't change it now.